The Most Underrated Skill in the Human Toolbox

Displaying courage brings more grace, kindness, and unity into life, something the world can always use more of. Yet courage is a complex, elusive trait. It asks us to step into discomfort, to risk failure, and to act with vulnerability. That alone makes it daunting. But it’s also what makes courage essential.

I have spent decades observing what makes people tick and after speaking with thousands of friends, employees, candidates, neighbors, I realized they all had one thing in common. I like to ask this question: Of the four traits—patience, courage, effort, and focus—which is your strongest? Almost everyone answers patience or effort. Courage is rarely chosen. But when I flip the question—If a genie could grant you any of the four traits, which one would you want most?—the overwhelming answer is courage.

This discrepancy reveals something profound: deep down, we know that courage is the key to unlocking our potential, but we’re hesitant to claim it as our strength.

Why is that?

Patience, effort, and focus are widely accepted, and even encouraged, as indicators of perseverance, ambition, and discipline. They are safer traits, less emotionally charged. Courage, on the other hand, often feels like jumping into the unknown. It’s perceived not as a skill to practice, but as a quality reserved for the rare and fearless few.

But that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Courage isn’t about being unafraid. It’s about acting despite fear. And unlike the other three traits, which depend on time, energy, and often opportunity, courage is boundless. It can show up in a single moment and change the course of everything.

History bears witness to the profound impact of courage. In 1898, American adventurer Joshua Slocum became the first person to sail around the world alone. He set sail from Boston on a 36-foot oyster boat named “Spray.” His route took him through storm-lashed seas and distant ports, Nova Scotia, South America, Australia, South Africa, over the course of three years. Slocum faced constant danger, loneliness, and uncertainty, yet pressed forward. His story reminds us that courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it quietly persists, wave after wave, mile after mile. His epic journey earned him the reputation of sea pioneer and proves that with courage, great precedents can be set.

Nearly 50 years later, 70,000 Allied troops stormed the beaches of Normandy on D-Day. These men knew the odds. Many had accepted they wouldn’t make it home. Yet they charged ahead, not because they were fearless, but because they believed in something bigger than themselves. Their courage helped change the trajectory of World War II and secured their place in history as heroes.

These are grand examples, but courage is not reserved for epic moments or historical acts.

We need courage in everyday life.

We need it to speak up for what’s right, to make a career change, to leave toxic relationships, to try something new, to fail and try again. Yet we often hesitate. Why?

Because we live in a world that mocks mistakes and glorifies perfection. We’re taught to conform, not to question. And in that culture, courage feels costly. But it is exactly that kind of world that needs more courage. And here’s the good news: it’s a skill, not a gift. Which means it can be built.

Building courage starts with small, consistent acts of risk-taking. Saying no when it’s easier to say yes. Raising your hand when your voice is shaking. Stepping forward when your feet want to freeze. It also means reminding yourself of your past wins and times you faced fear yet made it through. Just as Joshua Slocum’s first voyage led to future expeditions, every courageous act makes the next one more possible. Just as the soldiers of D-Day faced unimaginable fear with grit and grace, we too can rise to the occasion, whatever scale that may be.

Courage, in the end, is an active practice.

And like all worthwhile practices, it starts with a single choice. Because when we choose courage, we invite more grace into our world. More kindness. More unity.

And isn’t that something we could all use more of?